My wife walked into the living room, all dressed up with hand luggage in her hand. I looked at her, really looked at and saw how she had aged. What happened to the beautiful slender lady I married years ago?  She was elegant, well-spoken, and glamorous.

She quit her job after the birth of our third child to start her own business as a caterer and to have time to bring up the children. After the first three years of our marriage, we no more had time for anything, I was busy with work and other things and she also was busy with work and raising the children.

The spark in our marriage was gone and we made no effort to rekindle it, I occupied my time with work and other personal things and that did not include family.

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. Proverbs 5:18, 19. Unfortunately, this was too late for me; I wish I could turn back the hand of time and do just that.

My heart was heavy with sadness and regret as I asked her where she was going. She looked at me and answered, “There is a leadership workshop for church workers.” I had forgotten that she was occupied with church activities too.

She had recently been elected as the President of the Women’s Fellowship. “How long will you be gone?” I asked her. “Two weeks, and from there I will be visiting Ama.” She said. Ama is our oldest child who lives in Sunyani with her family.

I could not say anything else; I could not bring myself to ask her when she would be returning home. I never bothered before, in fact, I never cared whether she was around or not, it didn’t make much of a difference to me before then.

However, I suddenly felt alone as I watched her say her good-byes to the children and left. Few hours into my first day as a Pensioner and I was already lonely. My son came to sit by me on the sofa and I had some sort of comfort, at least, I could use the time to spend some time with my children to get to know them better.

Just like their mother, I do not remember the last time I spent time with them. How time flies, unfortunately, I couldn’t make the most out of it. I watched my son as he took his game controllers and slipped on a headphone ready to play and ignoring my presence.  

I got up with disappointment and went to stand by my daughter with a sheepish smile on my face. She was so engrossed with whatever she was doing on her laptop that she did not notice me standing by her. “Hey,” I said. She looked up and said to me “Do you want something Daddy? Mommy told me you are on pension now.”

I responded and said, “Yes I am.” “OK Boss, so what’s next?” She asked. I couldn’t tell whether she was being sarcastic or she was expressing concern for me. I clapped my hands together in excitement and said: “A lot of things actually, we can start by going to watch a movie tonight.” She looked at me as if I had just spoken in a foreign language so I repeated what I said thinking she did not hear me.  She lowered her gaze and reluctantly said; “Can we make that another time please?”

I knew in my heart that there won’t be another time, unfortunately, to my loss. I was so occupied with work and friends that I had neglected time with my children who have built their lives without me. It was going to take some great pain and adjustment to be able to create a bit of room for me.

Continue to read Part III
About the Author
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Esther Obeng Darko


Esther Obeng Darko is a Professional Counselor at The Whispers of Hope, an organization that is established to help individuals find appropriate solutions to their personal/social or educational problems.


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